Introducing excerpt ”You must be from the city!” Something to make you laugh until you cry!
I Could Get Arrested For This, I Think!
During holidays I have been known to get a little carried away with baking and decorating, but I loved it. One particular year, I thought I would try all new baking and cooking recipes from my new friends. I assumed that living in the mountains means you do everything that anyone would do anywhere, in any mountains. Wrong again. I wanted to make a mulled cider. Apples were picked, which I had a scraggly old tree on the side of the property. In fact, that year was the only year out of five; I ever saw an apple on it. Funny, huh? I loved to make goodies and then on Christmas Eve or close I would get all dressed up and deliver my gifts to all those I had made things for. This year, I made a lot, and I do mean Allot, of cider. It was rather potent as well. Put you right to sleep at night with a cup or two, but definitely not 3 were needed. One of my neighbors made a slew of candy each year, and it was to die for. It was out of this world. There was nothing she couldn’t make in that department. She was indeed a special lady. I was taught some candy making too, but did not challenge her to a tasting test, for she was known for her delightful treats. This year it was all about the mulled cider. I never follow recipes, so nothing is ever quite the same and for some odd reason, like my brandied peaches, I made some pretty stout liquor. Is that illegal? Huh? One particular neighbor, which will remain anonymous, as always in these stories, for fear they would track me down, had a husband who took a liking to my cider. He was a quiet sort of fellow, but real nice. He didn’t have much to ever say to me, but never the less, I liked him. After Christmas I had made plenty enough of canned cider for the winter. One day she came to visit and informed me her husband would like another jar or two of my cider, if I had any. Huh! Maybe I should have marketed it. I am certain that would get me in trouble. Moonshine is illegal too, but the county had plenty of that too. I think, from stories I had heard. Since I was getting popular with my goodies, I decided to indulge myself one night and test my goods and see how soothing and relaxing it was. Girls, please don’t try this unassisted. After a few cups and a snack, I tried to paint my toenails, Next morning I had the most awful mess on the bedspread, add did not remember too much about how it got there, other than I knew I was the culprit. So the rest of the Winter I enjoyed a cup of an evening, every now and then, but made certain it was put up out of my young sons reach. He had already proven I could and did contribute to minors with alcoholic beverages on the brandied peaches. I surely hope he remembers those were precious days to and maybe tell a few stories to his children, just not the ones where I am so totally dingy. Happy Holidays.
This is just one of many short stories in my book that will be released in September. I hope you enjoy.
The picture is a mock cover from my illustrator, whom I will introduce publically when the book is released. This book will make any age laugh until they cry. In case you don’t know: This is about me trying to adapt to mountain life, in the Blue Ridge mountains of North Carolina. I wanted to do everything “Hands On”. , but I am considered to be fairly prim and proper, so “Dah!”, I had quite a reputation for doing crazy things.
All of you have seen the serious and romantic side of me, but I do have a funny side, which comes naturally. My husband watches “I love Lucy” laughing hysterically and then says, while he is looking at me, “Honey, life is never dull with you”
So my Friends and Followers; Have a laugh or two on me