Sometimes I wonder why couples don’t stay together, when it should be…Why “Should They?” We fall in love, marry, have children, see them marry, then they have children and the cycle repeats again.
I have had failed marriages for different reasons, but only through failures, did I learn what was missing. We get comfortable, keeping in a daily routine and becoming complacent. Women look at love and sex different than men, but the basics are the same. First we put all our energy on our children, forgetting that our spouse, according to God, comes before all others. Then there are the pressures of finances and work. Women usually become discontent first, but let it out by complaining or; what men refer to as nagging. Please, ladies, I am guilty, as well. We then quit trying to be that beautiful, well kept lady our husbands fell in love with, thinking they wont even notice: but they do. Maybe it isn’t clear to them what is exactly wrong, but the spark and excitement to rush home to you isn’t there anymore: avoiding the nagging and the emotional barrier that has been put up. Men, although I don’t understand all they feel and think, they often don’t see the need to court their wives, to compliment them, to do something special. The wives, stop listening to their men and what is important to them, even if they don’t have the same interests.
Whatever the complicated situation is and the distance they have put between them; they feel all is lost, or stay miserable until they (one or the other) at least think of others if not act on that impulse.
What exactly is wrong with this picture? Our world today tries so hard to give our children everything we didn’t have and then some. We enroll them in every activity that is available, which becomes very demanding, especially when you have more than a couple of children. Soon our children become the total center of attention, which follows them to adulthood. There is where our mistake is, to a degree, because then they expect the same from their mates: complete focused attention on THEM.
Families were so much closer before all the technology came into our lives, the TV didn’t stay on 24-7, families ate their meals together, which is sometimes the only time to update what is going on in each others lives. The husband and wife don’t set anytime aside for themselves, except stolen moments, here and there. No wonder our successful marriage rate is falling.
Word of wisdom: For all it’s worth, make your spouse your number one priority, they will be there long after your children are gone. Men were meant to be head of household and have the final or at least joint say in ALL matters concerning his family. We, as women want them to protect us and treat us special, pamper us, but so often we emasculate them to the point they don’t know what their role is. Face it ladies, we are trying to have our cake and eat it too. I’m not saying we do it all the time, but our society is pushing us to be and do things that is really not in our nature.
If you don’t agree: look at your bible and see what it says about the role of man and wife, but also, men….don’t think that means her opinions’ aren’t important, or that you make the rules.
Our mates are suppose to be our best friend and we sometimes treat our friends a lot better than our mates. Our children, we are required to teach them good morals, nourcher them, teach them about God, or whatever your personal belief is. We should teach our sons and daughters at an early age that God, then Husband and Wife, then children, then country: In that order, should be their priorities.
But whatever the reason is for drifting apart, the quickest way to fix it is to remember why you fell in love with them to begin with and treat them as you did then. KEEP THE ROMANCE ALIVE.
God Bless You All, Barb